I got a free......
Whoo! It's A-mazing and I've already used it to look up my own nose. Too much information.

Ow- My Goddamn foot!!!

erm....hello? I think I may have forgotten how to blog:(????
Today:

• I got very frustrated with my ipod(the little jerk!). The fact that it is being so difficult has confirmed my fears. The world is against me and I will never EVER have a functional electronic device for more than a few weeks. Even my phone is behaving...weird:(
• Unfortunately Lauren has contracted various brain parasites throughout the week that have led her to perform excruciatingly embarrassing deeds involving Cardie boy.
• I am now officially an agony aunt. One of the problems that has been sent to me anonymously(Atiyyah) mentions necrophilia (I think).
• I am looking forward to Wednesday! A legitimate day off school:o It's been too long. I achieved 100% attendance last week. Hmm........I should feel positive about that, yes?
• A rude-ish lunchtime survey was carried out and a huge gormless apple chomp was witnessed by Atiyyah.
• There was an incident after school involving both Qandeel and myself. We were discussing kicking somebody(a man-any man) and we both did our own little interpretations of a forceful mini kick at the exact same time. Both our feet ended up in a painful collision and there was a faint mark/bruise. Oh, we also saw a Chad Kruger (hot piece of Biology) look-alike with a huge backpack. However, as he walked past he dropped the F BOMB a few times and was quite disrespectful to the female sex in general. Atiyyah resented him after that.

That's Not My Name.

Her name is Milner-not Morton or Horton. (shrugs) I spent the better part of last year calling Mrs Gelfs(is that how you spell it?) Mrs Finns. I don't remember why. I'm sure it had something to do with sharks though.

S.O.S

I never want to go back! I'm terrified of Mrs Morton/Horton. I think that's her name. Her penetrating gaze alarmed me in a completely neutral situation while volunteering for the Batley Bulldogs torture, so you can imagine the scale of my fear when confronted with her undisguised wrath over a caution. A CAUTION! For attendance? :O The tone of her voice made me confess to a whole manner of incriminating allegations such as taking days off without a valid reason. Why!! The disgust in her eyes almost made me lose control of important bodily functions. The matter remains unresolved though. She said that I had to report to her on Monday to follow this up. WHAT! What more can possibly be said. How many confessions will it take?! Yes, I take full responsibility for both global warming and world poverty. Please Miss , just leave me alone:( The upcoming "meeting" has been a source of tension throughout the holidays and I've been experiencing an awful "funny tummy"(yes, that's a scientific term!") feeling that makes me want to vomit, fling myself off a bridge, wail as loud as I can and write the word "Sorry" thousands of times on Mrs M/Horton's door all at the same time. Yes my attendance is....not great but do I really deserve this. This agony caused by the anticipation of the agony that will surely manifest in under forty eight hours? Do I really deserve the humiliation which will befall me when I lose the ability to regulate my bladder and make a horrible mess in her office.

On the other hand, I might just be overthinking this. There's a chance that she may forget all about it or decide to let me live.

In other news-

• Atiyyah's beloved bag broke and created a loud and embarrassing incident in a restaurant. I looked away and tried to feign ignorance about the identity of the clumsy bag-dropper and secretly revelled in the knowledge that the humiliation cloud had decided to shadow Atiyyah for a day.
• If you are thinking of watching "Hes just not that into you"-don't. American Love Actually-just...not as good.
• I have a new favourite site-http://www.readitswapit.co.uk/
• I really should start my History essay so.....bye!

Snow Day!!!!:)

My spaceman snowman;)

My sister's attempt.

It's All In Your Mind

Stayed up all night. So worth it. Two books down, eleven to go.

sister: Move, I need to wash my hands
me: Whats that black stuff?
sister: charc- (indistinct mumbling due to door closing)...dead Dumbledore.....(more mumbling) ...silver.

I can only assume it had something to do with an Art lesson and not a violent incident with an OAP. I forgot to re-ask her that question later. I should do it now. My sentences feel so short. I can FEEL the stunted and inadequate sentences coming out of my fingers. It's all twitters fault. I blame Twitter for the horrid-ness of this post. I blame Twitter for my lack of knowledge about 1867 Reform Act. I blame Twitter for the fact that I can't even feel remorseful/anxiety-ridden enough to make a start on History. Damn you Twitter!!





The outfit is cool but I think David Bowie already did this.......numerous times.

I never had a thing for Voldemort?

I have no time. This is all I can offer:

A picture of Ralph Fiennes is a more than adequate substitute. swoon:)